Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Christmas Ham

Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without the Christmas Ham. Actually we have ham most days in the Chaos Household. We have the ham love, and I blame Irish ancestry. Monkeyboy has a particular love for pork products.
Last night we watched Christmas with the Kranks, a family christmas comedy with some funny moments, entirely suitable for young children. It is about a couple that decide to go without Christmas and go on a Carribean cruise instead, much to the ire of thier neighbours, including the delightfully creepy Dan Akroyd. At the last minute they change their mind and opt to have a traditional Christmas instead. Mrs Krank must by a Hickory Honey Ham, which is difficult at late notice. She finally emerges from the supermarket victorius, only to drop the tinned ham and have it roll down the hill onto the road.

At this point, the Chaos loungeroom is dark, cool and peaceful; everyone is almost asleep. Monkeyboy suddenly sits upright and yells at Mrs Krank on the TV 'GET IT!!'

She can't get it, it rolls away from her into the path of a truck! Her arm stretches out, but she pulls it back to avoid getting run over. So close and yet so far! Monkyboy is beside himself and gasps in horror as the can is flattened.

He comes over for a tearful cuddle. Poor Ham, he says. He is seriously upset and needs some consoling, while Mr BC and I chortle quietly.

I just want to eat that ham so it will be safe. Safe in my tummy, he says. Why didn't she just grab it? She could have just put her arm out and taken it.


In the end I had to tell him it was TV magic, and the ham was really ok. Bloody hell!

Do you have a Christmas ham? Is it tinned? I haven't eaten tinned ham for maybe 30 years. At Christmas I buy a ham on the bone, but if I buy it too early it gets mysteriously eaten before the big day. I am now seriously considering buying a tinned decoy ham for the fridge.

How do you cook your ham? I think this year I will be trying this recipe. And trying not to let it get run over by a truck.

Recipe here


  1. Yep, we watched Christmas with the Kranks too! Every year I have always done a honey, mustard & orange glazed ham but this year I am debating if I should try something new or stick with what I know best! I am sure I will decide 5 miutes before it goes in the oven! I don't thik I could ever do a canned ham, it's just not cricket! LOL!

    Jos xx

  2. I don't know if I do ham right. I just buy the thing and slice it.

    Are you supposed to cook it?

    No one has died. Yet.

  3. I have never made a ham. One always somehow magically appears but because I don't eat it I never notice how or what happens to it after.

    I did love Spam as a little kid. Maybe canned ham is a little like that?

  4. Well we don't do ham, or christmas, so... not really. Haha!

    BUT my Nana makes ham for Christmas, though it's not cooked as fancy as that picture! It is a baked ham I think... All I remember is I'd rather have the marinated pork loin (not any more of course!)!


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